Unselfish Relationships
Scripture: Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being. 1 Corinthians 10:24 (NKJV)
Observation: This is Paul’s rule for social relations or how we should live with and toward others because it is what is expedient and what builds us and others up. This principle is presented in several places in the Bible, only worded slightly differently:
- Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 (NKJV)
- Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification. Romans 15:2 (NKJV)
- Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)
- Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 (NKJV)
Application: How different would our relationships be if we followed this principle. The great majority of the problems we have with others stem from the innate desire for supremacy, for power, for control. When couples come to me for counseling because they are dealing with financial difficulties, as we talk we discover that one or both want to be the ones that control the family finances. When it comes to the discipline of the children, one or the other parent feels like they need to have control of the children and power over what the spouse says. Even in the bedroom couples struggle for control – who initiates, how often it is done, how it should be done. Many women instinctively know how important sexual relationships are to a man and use intimacy as a way to control, and at times punish, their husband.
If we followed the Bible’s principles and instead of seeking what we want we worked toward building the other person up, how would that change our relationship? Not only would we be helping them; in reality, our attitude toward them and toward our relationship would also become more positive which would mean we would benefit ourselves.
A Prayer You May Say: Father God, Your order of things is always best for us. Help us to seek what is best for others so that we in turn would be benefitted by our attitudes, actions, and feelings.
Observation: This is Paul’s rule for social relations or how we should live with and toward others because it is what is expedient and what builds us and others up. This principle is presented in several places in the Bible, only worded slightly differently:
- Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 (NKJV)
- Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification. Romans 15:2 (NKJV)
- Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)
- Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 (NKJV)
Application: How different would our relationships be if we followed this principle. The great majority of the problems we have with others stem from the innate desire for supremacy, for power, for control. When couples come to me for counseling because they are dealing with financial difficulties, as we talk we discover that one or both want to be the ones that control the family finances. When it comes to the discipline of the children, one or the other parent feels like they need to have control of the children and power over what the spouse says. Even in the bedroom couples struggle for control – who initiates, how often it is done, how it should be done. Many women instinctively know how important sexual relationships are to a man and use intimacy as a way to control, and at times punish, their husband.
If we followed the Bible’s principles and instead of seeking what we want we worked toward building the other person up, how would that change our relationship? Not only would we be helping them; in reality, our attitude toward them and toward our relationship would also become more positive which would mean we would benefit ourselves.
A Prayer You May Say: Father God, Your order of things is always best for us. Help us to seek what is best for others so that we in turn would be benefitted by our attitudes, actions, and feelings.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
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